Things I Have Learned Top Lists

In all of my spare time while hanging out at the hospital those 12 really long days with my grandmother, I came up with a list of Top Things from my overall experience. I spent so much time trying to remember things to list on it that by the time we got back to her home, I came up with a list of Top Things from my time at the assisted living facility! So here goes:

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED DURING MY STAY AT THE HOSPITAL:
1) The hospital cafeteria is not open for breakfast on the weekend.
2) Memaw says that the iced tea tastes just like water.
3) Parking places are few here… scoring a parking spot in the front lot is a miracle.
4) Using too much hand sanitizer dries out your skin.
5) Extended use of a bedpan rubs ones bottom skin raw.
6) Laying in a bed all day and all night tends to rub your elbows raw with sores.
7) The Coke Zeros are cheaper in the gift shop than the Vending Area.
8) The nursing staff in the 4 South nurses station LOVE McDonalds apple pies.
9) The man next door to us loves to yell at his TV.
10) Old people think the hospital is a hotel and that nursing staff is full service minus the tips.
11) The biscuits in the cafeteria are only $.25 each!
12) They have cable and free wireless here! It is almost like a hotel…
13) Pull-up diapers are the best invention EVER when trying fool an elderly person into thinking they are wearing underwear.
14) The nylon recliners have wheels and make it hard to turn over in a horizontal position without rolling.
15) It is not possible to put up bed rails without waking up the patient.
16) Patients do not think twice about yanking an IV out of their arm.
17) There is a really loud train that passes by the hospital about 5 times a day- so don’t keep the window open.



THINGS I HAVE LEARNED DURING MY STAY AT THE ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY:
1) Old people tend to be crabby about 99.9% of the day.
2) Every one here LOVES ice cream.
3) The staff here is underpaid.
4) The staff just loves my grandmother.
5) My grandmother seems to be one main source of the staff’s entertainment.
6) Old people seem to forget to flush very often.
7) The residents will FIGHT for the $1 prize at Bingo.
8) They really do use the push buttons here for “I’ve Fallen And Can’t Get Up”
9) Bedtime here is around 7:30pm… Yikes!
10) Old people just love young people.
11) Meals around here are like clockwork.
12) If the kitchen serves any one item different than what is on the menu, certain residents FREAK OUT.
13) The sweet tea is really, really sweet.
14) Walkers and wheelchairs are an accessory must-have.
15) Walkers with tennis balls crammed onto the bottom of the legs are very trendy too.
16) Residents enjoy breakfast food for breakfast AND supper.
17) Old people are always cold so the inside of this place is REALLY hot.
18) Old ladies are addicted to getting their hair “set and styled” and “colored” or “permed”… They usually go to the beauty shop about once a week and that is the only time they wash their hair too!
19) Some residents play their televisions so loud you can hear it 5 doors down the hallway.
20) Boxes of Kleenex are on every horizontal surface in this facility- probably because every resident needs one in their hand(s) at all times.
21) Some residents randomly walk the halls at night because they think it is morning time…
22) Old people think they know EVERY thing and will argue about any thing.
23) God bless the staff that work with these folks every day.