My Friend Nick

A little over a week ago I received one of those phone calls that just turns your world upside-down. We had lost another member on my Mother’s side of the family. He was not actually related to us by blood but, he was my cousin, Heather’s fiancé… he was her best friend, her lover, her soul mate, her night and her day. He was only 33 years old and was not ready to go. Nor were we ready for him to leave. I had the pleasure of being around Nick on 4 or 5 occasions throughout the course of their relationship. I remember the first time I met him… I had flown out to Denver, Colorado… Heather picked me up and drove me to their home on the side of one of the peaks in Breckenridge… he came shuffling out of the garage in ratty jeans, house shoes, a Harley Davidson hooded sweatshirt and multiple colors of paint all over him. He was shorter than me, shorter than Heather and the funniest accent for someone living in a Colorado ski town. He welcomed me into his home, shared with me his food, his drink and showed me all of his many, many paintings. Yep, he was an artist and a great artist at that… I saw so much of what he sees on canvas that day. I especially fell in love with one of his paintings of the deepest bluest sea colors and random eyeballs floating in it… sounds strange but so profound in the coloring. Nick was so full of life… just like his paintings…. He lived life to the fullest each and every day…. He was so blessed that he had the means and the drive to do all the crazy things and ideas that he created. He showed me so much handiwork he had completed on their house from the paint on the walls to the hardscapes in the yard. I swear he had hand painted every inch of space in that house whether sponged, rolled or brushed…. And it was absolutely beautiful. During that trip he made sure that I got to see all that Breckenridge had to offer… we went 4x4-ing all over the mountains where the old mining towns and mines are… he took me to shoot his rifles and skeet with his shotguns… he was blown away at how good I was! We toured all of Breck and all of the surrounding towns too… what a great time in Colorado in September…
They came home to GA that Christmas in the same year… Nick was officially introduced to the family…
And then I visited them again a year later only this time with Mike… and again, we were welcomed with open arms. And they took us all over the mountains touring… to Vail… to Keystone… such a great time! Mike and I had a blast…
Before we got to see them again, Mike and I engaged and married and they moved from Breck to Jupiter, Florida… always so far away! But, we did see them last September when they came up to GA for a weeklong visit… we had a blast riding around on the ATV all over the countryside.
And that was the last time I saw him…
And I can absolutely kick myself in the butt for not making an attempt to go see them at their new home in Florida all this time…. There is always an open invite to come down there and we are always just “too busy” to do it… and now it is too late.
We lost Nick Friday, November 14… doing one of the things he loved to do… scuba diving…. Always the extreme sportsman… Always into something… Always living life to the fullest! I grieve for my cousin every time I think of what she felt at that moment when the police came to the door that evening and told her that he was gone… I cannot fathom what that must feel like… it makes me hug my Husband tighter every time he leaves me now to go to work, to the store, to any where. I pray after him on his way to any where his path leads him… because who knows if he makes it back or not. Even the strongest woman who has lived on her own for 33 years can become dependent on their spouse of only 2 years on so many levels. I cannot imagine my life without my Husband even after only 2 years…and to have that all snatched away from someone in a heartbeat is just unimaginable. I understand why my cousin has not talked to me yet… it is just too soon. And I am only a reminder of their past… I really do not know what I am going to say to her when the time comes… I tear up every time I think of what words to tell her… it is going to be hard when I do… but, the most important thing is that she know that we love her and she will never be alone…it will just take time… lots and lots of time…
We miss you Nick! May you Rest In Peace sweet friend.
Nick Felipe
July 25, 1975 - November 14, 2008

Lions, Tigers and Cougars? No more!

A friend of mine posted this link for an article from one of the local newspapers back home- Hunter Bags Cougar at West Point Lake... and I just had to share. Considering the fact that Hubby and I will be spending a LOT of time in the woods next week hunting for deer over the Thanksgiving holidays, I thought that having this animal gone was a great thing... makes me feel better knowing it is not around any more. You see the same friend has been talking about her "mountain lion" sightings for quite a while now within just a few miles of the cat's location... and no one believed her!

Alls Well That Ends Well...

I spent my work day today heading out to Villa Rica in the western part of the state to turn in a bid for an upcoming project there. I had mixed feelings about this project before we bid it and going back out there today just solidified my feelings. You see I worked on a project just across the street from this upcoming project site back in 2002 and have no desire to go back there for work. Well the good news is that we were not low bidder today. The bad news is that we were the highest bidder at the bid opening… last place and our price was more than 30% higher than the lowest bidder! It was so embarrassing to hear our huge bid called out so much higher than the others. But, I was internally breathing a sigh of relief. Alls well the ends well…

A Piece Of History GONE

So after I dropped my Grandmother off back at her apartment on Saturday, I cruised to my hometown to check on the roofer that I hired to install a new roof on her house. As I was driving through the main drag in town I immediately spotted the guy in the trackhoe with a grappling hook on the railroad tracks.... and how surprised was I when I saw that he was using that equipment to pull up all the railroad ties that once held the rail road tracks through town!

The story is that someone bought that skinny strip of land and is now removing all of the railroad tracks along their newly aquired land... more like removing history if you ask me! Pine Mountain formerly known as Chipley, would not even be on the map if it wasn't for those tracks!! Mr. W. P. Chipley who founded Chipley, FL (near the Panama City area) financed the railroad extension from Columbus, GA to Chipley, GA (also named after him too) and that extension along with FDR and Cason Callaway's Gardens helped boost the Town of Pine Mountain to the booming metropolis we all know and love. (Note that the town's name Chipley was changed to Pine Mountain in 1957.) Anyhoo, back on my original gripe, WHO in their right mind would tear out this HUGE piece of our history? I have many, many great childhood memories surrounding those tracks in town and by the time I get home next week for Thanksgiving, the tracks will be completely GONE. What a crock!

What AM I Going To Do?

I made the long trip down to the assisted living center this past Saturday morning to spend the day with my Grandmother. When I got there the staff was setting up for the annual Thanksgiving dinner and I briefly met and spoke with the new Director- seems like a nice enough lady. When I met my Grandmother in the hallway she was carrying a few items in her hands and smelling slightly like poop… I knew instantly that this was going to be a long day. I asked her why she was carrying around in her hands the toothpaste tube, the sink drain plug, a bottle of lotion and her wallet…. She said that she had “found them” and she wanted to “show somebody”. I lead her back to the apartment… only to be greeted by more of the stench… I proceeded to put those few things back in their place and then started to look for the source of the “stench”… I really could not find anything in the bathroom or the bedroom- so it had to be her. I did find a huge wet spot on the carpet in front of her dresser- that turned out to be urine. I do not want to go into the gory details of my ugly day spent cleaning up my Grandmother and her apartment… and a frantic cleaning at that for 2 long hours before the noon Thanksgiving dinner! But, basically what it boils down to is that my Grandmother cannot seem to remember what to do after she uses the bathroom… hence, the stench. I am not sure how to explain the 24” diameter wet spot in the carpet unless she crouched there to pee thinking it was the toilet? Who knows… what I do know is that when I confronted her about the spot she tried to blame on those “other” people who come in here and use the bathroom… or “that man who runs down the hall” and takes her money and a whiz at the same time…? I just smiled and told her how much I loved her. And then I proceeded to ask her the touchy subject of her consistent “mishaps” with peeing or pooping… she just bawled. I explained to her that it was okay to do it… just call for help right when it happens so she won’t forget about it and leave it. Lord only knows if she will remember any thing I told her that day. As much as I scrubbed the carpet, the furniture, the bathroom, and her you would hope she would remember… but, again, probably not! And I even washed a load of dirty clothes too…
The turkey dinner was really good… and she proceeded to eat the entire meal with her fingers… I tried countless times to give her the fork and she would just stare at it as if she had no idea what it was for. But, she did eat the entire plate of food and dessert- with her fingers though…
After dinner, we did a little shopping at wal-mart as quickly as possible… she had a ball being out of the apartment but, she kept asking me about where we were… she could not remember the store or the town we were in…
I got her back to the apartment, put up her purchases, checked her wallet (which did not have all the money stolen as she informed several times earlier in the week), and said my goodbyes…Needless to say, I have a LOT to think about…

Good Ol' Hell Paso... I Mean El Paso

I arrived home last night from my 3-day trip to El Paso for work. I left on Monday morning bound for the armpit of America and what a trip it was! First of all, I was pulled out of line at airport security in the Atlanta airport so they could inspect my bags for a suspicious item. When the guy proceeded to inform that I had a “vibrat__….” I could not contain my shock at what in the world he could be referring to… and since my shock filled my ears instead of listening to the entire phrase, I would have known he was talking about my vibrating neck pillow that Hubby gave me for my birthday! I was so embarrassed… supposedly the mechanism that makes the vibrations looks something like a terrorist bomb?
I make it onto the plane only to find out that I have a middle seat… Crap! I hate middle seats! And wouldn’t you know I had a lady 1.5 times bigger than me on the left and a man with a major case of OCD on the right (both elbow rest hoggers mind you) so I had absolutely NO arm rests for the entire 3 hour trip! I was so restless and uncomfortable the whole trip. I could not get off that plane fast enough…
I stayed a much nicer than normal hotel with a great fitness center… too bad my key card did not want to cooperate with my entering the fitness room…
El Paso weather was gorgeous… lows in the high 30’s and low 40’s and highs in the 60’s… and VERY windy! I browsed through some really nice sporting stores after work each night. And the groceries there are so much cheaper than here in Georgia- a ½ gallon of milk was only $1.00!! Yet, gas was much higher than here… the QT on the way to the Atlanta airport before I left on Monday was $1.99/gallon and in El Paso it was $2.44/gallon… glad I didn’t drive too much…
My Superintendent took me to lunch for some authentic Mexican food after our meeting on Tuesday… very tasty and VERY spicy! I almost cracked up when I used the ladies room at the signs posted on the back of the stall door.

Yikes! Do they really do that here? My last night I enjoyed some really good barbeque and then attempted a short shopping trip through wal-mart… bad idea… I must have been the only English-speaking person in that store! It feels very odd to be standing in the men’s section and hear all Spanish around you.
I really like the El Paso airport… the rental cars are at the airport so no shuttle buses to ride on. The Delta employee at the ticket counter informed me that Atlanta is their only destination from El Paso… how convenient? My gate is the first one just past security…, which worked out really great since I got held up AGAIN at security for that darn pillow! I think I will have to dissect the mechanism out of the pillow before my next trip…
The plane was only half full on the way back to Atlanta… I took note that we had several military troops on the flight. I was honored to strike up a conversation with one of them who was sitting in front of me. We talked off and on the entire way back. He told me how much he loves being in the army and how he was on his way to see his fiancé. They are marrying on January 1st… and then he will be deployed overseas. He answered all of my crazy questions about their guns, their exercise routines, their tanks, vehicles, etc. What a great guy! I wished him much luck on his way to Mayberry, NC… and then onto the unknown… How fitting since Veterans Day was Tuesday…

Why?

I am kind of between a rock and hard place tonight. I had a conversation with my Grandmother’s sister this evening in which she informed me that the new Director at the assisted living center (where my Grandmother resides) has approached her wanting to discuss my Grandmother’s current condition. So I made a phone call to one of the assistant managers (I know her from my childhood) to find out what was going on before I call the new Director tomorrow. (Of course, I think that if the new Director has an issue to discuss about my Grandmother, she should call ME.) I talked to my “friend” for over 30 minutes about my Grandmother and to sum it up, she seems to think she has really gone downhill a LOT the past few weeks. I felt like I was defending my Grandmother’s mental and physical capacity the ENTIRE conversation! I agree that her ability to put together words into a sentence has been a real challenge recently. And I agree that she can be confused pretty often. But, she is still HERE mentally. She still knows who she is and who I am. She cannot call out names but she recognizes family and friends that are in her life often. She droned on and on about how my Grandmother keeps forgetting how to go the bathroom, how she can hardly feed herself anymore, how she misses the chair every time she goes to sit down, etc. I was practically fighting tears by the end of our conversation especially after she said, “Kelly, you are in a tough, tough position and I cannot tell you what to do about her”. Really? Because I do not know what to do about her either! How does any body know what to do with their 80 year old Grandmother with Stage 2-3 dementia and glaucoma so severe that she is almost legally blind? She does not bother the other residents, she just tears up her own stuff in her own apartment and then forgets that she did it… and then tries to blame “those people” that came in there and did it! This is nothing new for me… she started this over 2 years ago! And now they want to move her to the “other side” of the place where the severe Alzheimer’s folks are and that would just KILL her… I cannot even imagine the consequences I would endure from her if they make us move her over there. She hates that side because she feels like a prisoner behind locked doors. The really severe residents on that side sleep all day in the TV room and drool on themselves. They have no clue who they are and where they are. I spent several days with her on that side when we first moved her in almost two years and it scared the crap out of me! I talked with one of the floor ladies tonight and she was telling me the same stuff as the first one! She thinks that my Grandmother would get more care and more of the attention she needs over there… I am at a loss at this point. I now have the black cloud of more burdens on me and I do not know what in the world to do. I keep asking Why? And the answers never come… Will there ever be peace in the world dementia? Probably not.

Gun Rush

So Hubby has been wanting a new gun for a while now… and with Christmas around the corner we decided to go shopping this evening for one. Well, how surprised were we when the gun shop employee informed us that they only had one left in stock and would not get anymore until probably February because of the gun rush caused by the election results. One termed it as “an Oboma Sale”… and that they probably had the only one of these guns left in Cobb County since the mad rush Wednesday morning after the election. No purchase for us though- they had it marked up over 50% the usual price!

We did stock up on our ammo though… no one can ever have enough ammo… and we had a great time browsing through the camo section in the sporting goods store. We are planning on doing some serious deer hunting over the next few weeks back home with the holidays and all. We cannot wait!

It Is That Simple

If you want to voice your personal opinions and beliefs regarding the subject of my posts, go write your own blog with your own views. My blog contains my personal thoughts and if you do not agree with my opinion or do not like my written thoughts, then do not leave a comment. It is that simple. Period.

Key Largo- Been There, Done That

We got back from our little trip to the Keys yesterday morning... earlier than scheduled! We got up really, really early on Monday morning and managed to get on the first flight out and in 1st class! Hubby and I had a wonderful 2 hour flight home in nice big seats! We were very ready to come home after 4 nights in balmy south Florida... As usual, the islands and water were gorgeous and the weather was great. It was hard to leave the cold in Atlanta, go to very warm Florida and arrive back in the cold... just hope I stay well since I am flying again next week to west Texas!
Enjoy the pics...

Today Is The Day That The Lord Hath Made...

Well election day is finally here… and what a long, tumultuous ride it has been! I managed to keep my opinion to myself up until this past weekend… that is what happens after you have absorbed so much one-sided information from the ongoing media crap Hubby keeps on the boob-tube. They report the same stories over and over (mostly about the liberal senator) and I can only take so much of it!
The most amusing part of it all to me was the responses that I get toward my blog and its content. Most of the responses remind me of people who I can only imagine live under a rock and live some fantasy tale where they just float through life only hearing a few facts and not actually looking at the entire picture. They are dreamers, wishers, hopefuls, idealists, romantics… always optimistic and never realist… I am sorry but I live in the real world and the real world sucks. It involves a job, responsibilities, purpose, loyalty, integrity, goals, a plan for the future, and a back up plan for obstacles… I could go on and on… but, thinking about it and everything else in the world makes my head ache.
I will say that I thought for a long time today about what exactly upsets me the most about this election. It is not the fact that the Democrats might get elected to office… I really do not mind the Democratic party- to a certain extent. It is really just that I do not like their candidate. Their candidate is what angers me the most… there are just way too many questions revolving around him and his history and his beliefs and it makes me uncomfortable- I just do not know how to explain it to be honest. And it just amazes me how many folks are infatuated with him because he is so “cool” and because he is the Hollywood stars’ choice… blah, blah, blah…
I got the polls around 3:50 this afternoon, walked right in and voted, and was back in my car by 4:00pm… I said a short prayer when I pushed the touch screen for the X next to McC’s name… today I prayed for us… and our country… may God bless us…and our country…

Angrier By The Minute

I am seriously worried about the future of this country depending on what happens on Tuesday. I believe that the liberal media has influenced this election to their point of view so much that every “news” channel on television is reporting the same line of crap. Why is the liberal media airing 80-90% pro-Oboma and only 10-20% McCain? Every “news” channel I flipped to for the past two months is pro-liberal Oboma and his false idol views. They have seriously put him up on a high pedestal and turned him into a Hollywood star. He truly is the next American idol… or should I say anti-American idol? Who knows at this point? In my opinion, he is the most UN-American presidential candidate in history. He claims to be one thing and yet his history says different. He is all about “changing’ this country… yet, I have not heard one changing tactic that will make any difference to my life. He is nothing but a smiling star in an expensive suit with a huge following of folks who keep proclaiming that he is for their special “rights”… would someone please explain to me what “rights” they are fighting for beyond the rights that we the general population already have? Are they special in that they get different or more rights than the rest of us?
And what about his ability to spend millions of dollars on television air time? Why would a liberal who wants everyone to donate all of their “extra” earnings to the poor people go and spend $3million dollars on a television infomercial on him? Why not donate those freaking $3million dollars to the poor? Why not donate all that campaign money to the poor so the rest of us can keep our hard-earned money for our retirement? This whole entitlement mentality just needs to stop now. It should be my choice to donate my money to the poor or charitable- not the government’s decision! It should be a gift from me to the charity of my choice… not taken from me by law and given to whoever the governments deems needy of it.
I am so angry this week and the closer we get to Tuesday and the more I keep hearing the same crap on television, radio or internet, the angrier I get! All I do know is that whatever happens Tuesday is in the hands of the higher power in the heavens and I cannot do anything to change it or control it. I do know that I do not have to support or honor the false idol if the liberals manage to vote him into office… isn’t that what freedom of speech is all about, right?