I am at a crossroads this week. And I think I know which way to turn, but I keep questioning myself. Besides being terribly busy between work, travel, boot camp, karate, Christmas, my Grandmother and my upcoming surgery (oh, did I mention that I am going into surgery the Monday after Christmas?), I am facing a huge, huge decision regarding my Grandmother. And this decision will turn the tables completely around in our dance with dementia. I am looking at an opportunity that is so big for her that it will change her world in epic proportions- but in a really great way. Here is how it all started:
Last Sunday night I received a phone call from one of her dearest friends from back home. She told me about how another lady in the Church had approached her regarding a caregiver in our hometown that cared for elderly folks with dementia. She gave me a brief description and a phone number. I did not really think too much about it right then. A couple of days later (after more reports from the sitter about my Grandmother’s bizarre behavior) I started pondering the thought of calling the other lady from the Church. After talking with my Mom, she called her first and got the information. Then, I called the lady from the Church myself and asked my own questions. It felt right to call the Caregiver lady myself by then. I made the call last Wednesday after I arrived home from my work trip to El Paso. We talked for over an hour! She had an answer to every question or scenario I threw at her! She has spent the last 8 years caring a for a doctor and his wife there in my hometown- the husband past after the first 5 years and then the wife 3 years later. The wife was bed-ridden the entire last year of her life and never had a bed sore the entire time! This Caregiver has experience in caring for even the worse conditions… immobility, dementia, incontinence; you name it- she knows how to take care of it. She has all of the medical equipment in her home to help care for my Grandmother, as she needs them: hospital bed with rails, walkers, wheelchairs, etc. She was a hairdresser in her previous life- so that takes care of her hair! She will cook her favorite foods, dress her, bathe her, deal with her incontinence, take her out for walks, read to her, play her favorite music, help her answer the phone when we call, let us come visit any time, the whole 900 yards!
Today I called the son of the couple she cared for mentioned above, he told me that if was lucky enough to find this lady and get to use her care giving services, I would be the second luckiest person in the world next to him being the first. I think that statement says it ALL.
There are so many things to do in order for this transition to happen and I am frantically trying to work them over the course of the next few days. I am out of town for work again Monday to Wednesday- El Paso again. A trip to my hometown after my trip to meet this Caregiver in person seems to be the next step. And then on to tell my Grandmother will be the next step. I have a rough draft mapped out of the way it will have to have happen considering my travel schedule, Christmas and my surgery. But, we have to move quickly because it looks like the sitter I am paying to stay with her night where she lives now is going to be a permanent fixture after my Grandmother’s episode by herself one night last night. I will not expose the details but believe me- it was a filthy scene. One that could be avoided if she had that 1 on 1 care that a Caregiver can provide- like the lady I am pondering.
I will have to give notice to the place where she lives now too. I just hope that does not turn into a big ordeal based on the big deal they made over the whole sitter-hiring episode. That was all their little cup of tea anyway.
I think I have a plan. I am pretty sure I have a plan that will work. And that will work for the best… the best for my Grandmother and the best for her family. I cannot think of a better Christmas gift to give her- the gift of moving home. She will be at home in her home town, just a block from her Church, just down the road from her friends, just a few miles from her family… I just pray she grasps this opportunity with open arms. This is my prayer for this Christmas holiday season. Won’t you join me?
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