The Road Long Traveled

The call came in yesterday afternoon while I was in a long meeting at work. I did not get the voicemail until almost two hours later. My Grandmother had been non-responsive all day yesterday. She just slept all day in a deep slumber and the caregivers could not awaken her to eat, drink or take her meds. I called my Mom and she went over there after work to try herself. They tried everything to get some sort of response out of her- even putting ice cubes on the bottoms of her feet! And they got nothing…
The hospice on-call nurse arrived late yesterday evening and after not being able to even detect a blood pressure reading he declared, “it is time”… I get this tidbit around 9pm last night- and that just sends me into overdrive. I go on a packing and preparing frenzy- wash clothes, iron shirts, cook supper, clean kitchen, pack clothes, shoes, linens, landscaping tools, laptop, snacks and try to spend time with the dog in between. I finally crashed at midnight after all of above and having successfully called boot camp and work to tell them I would not be there this morning.
I did not sleep well at all and woke very tired. Showered and loaded up vehicle in record time and hit the road.
When I saw my Grandmother this morning (after only 5 days since my last visit) the difference in her physical appearance was most rattling again. She has bones jutting out all over her little body! Her eyes are wide open staring upward and her mouth is just gaping open and the loud sound of her breathing just makes me wonder if she is struggling to get enough air. Both ladies that care for her are with me and I grab her hands and call out to her, “Memaw! Memaw it is me, Kelly!” and her eyebrows actually raise up! And both hands quickly squeeze mine just for a second. Both caregivers are in shock… I keep calling out to her and talking to her and she only responds sporadically with eyebrow movements and quick hand movements. It is almost like her mouth and eyes are paralyzed or something. I went by several times today to see her in between all of the yard work projects my brother, Hubby and I worked on at her house all day. I pretty much got the same responses all day- but, by this evening she seemed to try to say something but her mouth would not do anything more than stay gaped open. I talked to her over and over and assured her that everything was okay. Of course, I know that without food or water she will not last long. But, any ability to eat or drink is now gone. The lines of communication are gone. The capability of functioning on any level is gone. And soon she will be gone… My heart is filled with sadness this day.