I left work early on Friday with our dog Sampson in tow. I had taken him to work with me in the early hours of that morning… he did well at the office and during the 2 hour ride to my hometown. We arrived on time at the house where my Grandmother stays these days with her Caregiver. When we walked into her room there, her physical appearance surprised me… I could not believe how different she looked from just two weeks earlier when we were last in town. She was lying in the bed eyes wide open and staring up at the sky it seemed with her mouth gaping open. And she looked so frail and gaunt… she seems to be wasting away before my eyes- I think to myself. We call out her name and she comes to, words jumbled and mumbled and her eyes are now straight ahead but not exactly looking at US. The Caregiver tries to feed her a sandwich and has to repeatedly tell her to open her mouth, chew the food, and swallow the food and so on. She manages to get about two bites down her and gives up on the solid food and moves onto the Ensure supplement drink. She no longer uses a straw since she bites it and won’t let go. She gets it down sip by sip. And then she dozed off… her pattern seems to be mostly dozing or sleeping and then awake when spoken to or stimulated by bathing, eating, etc. Watching her that morning and then watching her again that evening confirmed that she is much worse than just two weeks ago. I went back to see her on Saturday morning and again for several hours that afternoon. She pretty much stayed in the bed dozing or mumbling… her speech is gone, but she still recognizes me by name and voice. Of course I am concerned about the fact that she is living off Ensure drinks. And the fact that she is pretty much in the bed all day now. We are heading back down there this Friday until Sunday do work on the land, do some clean up at her house and visit with her too. I called the Preacher and her best friend and told them that it was not good… I really cannot say how much longer she has….
And then there is our beloved dog… I took him the Vet back home on Friday afternoon for a second opinion. He wound up staying overnight and the verdict is not good. His spleen is full of cancer, which is driving his white blood cells high, and his red blood cells low causing him to be severely anemic. The mass in his spleen is pushing against his GI tract making it hard for him to digest food. His blood is thin, his temperature is high and he has a severe case of congestive heart failure. And now because all of the above makes him not want to eat, his body mass is consuming itself for nutrition. Poor Sampson! He has the saddest eyes you have ever seen. It is just depression all around in our household right now…
My heavy workload right now at my job is also weighing on me and taking its toll. Along with the ongoing drama with the psycho neighbor and a certain family member, I am just about ready to de-nail my fingers! I am graying by the minute for crying out loud…
I did tell Hubby this morning that when this is all over, I want to go the beach and just sit. No schedule, no worries, no plans, no nothing… just us and a cooler of cold drinks in the sun next to the ocean. We shall see if that ever happens…
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