The Warrior Spirit vs. Darn Ol' Cancer

I am so happy to report that our beloved dog, Sampson seems to be on the up-slide in the past week! We are estatic!! After 5 or so weeks of not willingly eating any thing, laying around virtually comatose for hours at a time, etc., Sampson the Warrior has bounced back (somewhat) and has been eating hamburgers, pizza, steak, veggies, sausage, fish, sandwiches, etc. We (us and our good neighbors) had been shooting baby food and blended chicken/rice type foods down him with a syringe-like shooter almost every 2-4 hours for the past several weeks just to get nutrition in him to hopefully give him the energy to stay mobile. He has lost so much weight that the bones in his head and hips are so evident now. He almost has a svelt-like figure now! But, just like that, in one day (last Thursday as a matter of fact) he just all of a sudden wanted to eat! And on his own- by himself! With no shooter! We had him all weekend since he stays with the neighbors most weekday nights and days and he did wonderful. We took him for a ride in the truck, bought him takeout, played with him the yard, etc. And he slept all night in the house with no problems too. He even looks like he has gained a little weight back... so fingers crossed that maybe the Warrior is winning the fight against that ol' cancer mass! We plan on taking him back the Vet this Saturday- pray for a good report.

The Long Road Ahead...

So yesterday was the first morning in a quite a while that we actually got to sleep in… and in our OWN bed! How nice it was! We had gone back home again really early Saturday morning to run errands, attend a family reunion, take Sampson back the vet, etc. It was a really long day and we did not get home until after midnight Saturday night. Besides the fact that Sampson has eaten next to nothing for the past two weeks, his visit to the Vet did not really tell us much either- and just like my Grandmother, he will not last too much longer without food intake. But, we have tried to get him to eat just about anything and everything and he just turns his head away from it or he gets up and moves to another room in the house. And for the ol’ Warrior to deny food is just sacrilegious! He is getting so skinny and his bones are really showing now through his fur… it is quite depressing on top of everything else that has happened over the past few weeks. But, we are so fortunate to have some great neighbors to take care of him during the day and on the nights that Mike is out of town. And they have much better luck and skill getting Sampson to eat a little something each day.
Over the weekend I did manage to start tackling the monster task of sorting my Grandmother’s account statements, receipts, etc. Our living room is covered in stacks of documents. I am trying to get a grip on what exactly what I am going to have to close, transfer, etc. in the next few weeks/months in order to settle her estate. The good news is that she did not have any debts or mortgages- just insurance policies, utility bills, and insurance accounts. I actually made the first two calls today on her primary and secondary insurance carriers to get their automatic payment schedules to stop debiting money from her bank account. After a long hold waiting on medicare to pick up the line, I am now over 10 minutes on hold waiting on social security to pick up as I type this post- Imagine that. And I thought my journey was soon over…

One Day At A Time...

I left work early on Friday with our dog Sampson in tow. I had taken him to work with me in the early hours of that morning… he did well at the office and during the 2 hour ride to my hometown. We arrived on time at the house where my Grandmother stays these days with her Caregiver. When we walked into her room there, her physical appearance surprised me… I could not believe how different she looked from just two weeks earlier when we were last in town. She was lying in the bed eyes wide open and staring up at the sky it seemed with her mouth gaping open. And she looked so frail and gaunt… she seems to be wasting away before my eyes- I think to myself. We call out her name and she comes to, words jumbled and mumbled and her eyes are now straight ahead but not exactly looking at US. The Caregiver tries to feed her a sandwich and has to repeatedly tell her to open her mouth, chew the food, and swallow the food and so on. She manages to get about two bites down her and gives up on the solid food and moves onto the Ensure supplement drink. She no longer uses a straw since she bites it and won’t let go. She gets it down sip by sip. And then she dozed off… her pattern seems to be mostly dozing or sleeping and then awake when spoken to or stimulated by bathing, eating, etc. Watching her that morning and then watching her again that evening confirmed that she is much worse than just two weeks ago. I went back to see her on Saturday morning and again for several hours that afternoon. She pretty much stayed in the bed dozing or mumbling… her speech is gone, but she still recognizes me by name and voice. Of course I am concerned about the fact that she is living off Ensure drinks. And the fact that she is pretty much in the bed all day now. We are heading back down there this Friday until Sunday do work on the land, do some clean up at her house and visit with her too. I called the Preacher and her best friend and told them that it was not good… I really cannot say how much longer she has….
And then there is our beloved dog… I took him the Vet back home on Friday afternoon for a second opinion. He wound up staying overnight and the verdict is not good. His spleen is full of cancer, which is driving his white blood cells high, and his red blood cells low causing him to be severely anemic. The mass in his spleen is pushing against his GI tract making it hard for him to digest food. His blood is thin, his temperature is high and he has a severe case of congestive heart failure. And now because all of the above makes him not want to eat, his body mass is consuming itself for nutrition. Poor Sampson! He has the saddest eyes you have ever seen. It is just depression all around in our household right now…

My heavy workload right now at my job is also weighing on me and taking its toll. Along with the ongoing drama with the psycho neighbor and a certain family member, I am just about ready to de-nail my fingers! I am graying by the minute for crying out loud…
I did tell Hubby this morning that when this is all over, I want to go the beach and just sit. No schedule, no worries, no plans, no nothing… just us and a cooler of cold drinks in the sun next to the ocean. We shall see if that ever happens…

My Merry-Go-Round Is Outta Control!!

I feel like I am on a merry-go-round that is spinning out of control and everyone is falling apart around me!
That is exactly how I felt today... dealing with all of the dog's ups and downs these past two weeks has been traumatic enough and now my Grandmother has stopped eating. That was the first phone call of the day after I spent a chunk of my morning taking the dog over to the good neighbors for the day. The phone call took another chunk of my day as I listened to the Caregiver plow through all the details of my Grandmother's latest behaviors. It is as if she has forgotten "what to do" when food or drink is spooned into her mouth- almost like the wire between her brain and her jaw to chew is gone as well as the wire to her esophagus to swallow. Besides the fact that the Caregiver is dealing with her own son in ICU and juggling that with my ever-downward-spiraling Grandmother, she is all stressed out. And her stress just adds to my stress... again, there goes that darn merry-go-round!
Hubby had decided to try and get Sampson an appointment at the Vet's office back home for sometime Friday afternoon- I would just take a 1/2 day off to take him down there and Hubby would just meet me there after he left his work site in Alabama that afternoon since we already planning on a trip home this weekend (and we missed Mothers Day wkend!). Well now that the Caregiver has continuously called me with more and more unfavorable reports on my Grandmother this week, I have pretty much decided that maybe I should just take the whole day off and go spend some time with her too. I will just have to take the dog with me...
I am also struggling to balance all of the above with my heavy work load right now at the office.... trying to juggle three diffferent projects and deal with outside drama and trauma just does not sit well with me. And let's not forget about the ever-ongoing drama with the cable-hating-drama queen next door.... that whole ordeal has me practically running into the house everyday when I park in the driveway just so I won't have to see or hear her....
Again, when will this merry-go-round ever stop? And then tonight a letter came in the mail from a neighbor back home with a picture of us on Christmas Day with my Grandmother... I just teared up when I saw it. That was the day we moved her out of assisted living and in with the Caregiver because "it was time"... it is so hard to believe that was almost five months ago! Where does time go when my world is so darn chaotic?
One bit of good news: Sampson stayed home with us last night since Hubby came home from Alabama... we actually got him to eat pizza crust with us while enjoying the Biggest Loser finale. He seemed much more upbeat last night but is definitely still not quite his old self. He did have another little accident while he slept through the night- fortunately this time he was on the hardwood floor and not the carpet! It's the small things that make me happy...

Current Health Update… Another Day in the Life of the Kelly Show

Well my nephew went to see the orthopedic doctor last week and turns out the broken arm is actually a broken shoulder! How crazy is that? And the fact that he is seeing the same doc as my Grandmother (who went in last time for a so-called broken shoulder) is even wilder!
I have only talked with my Grandmother one time this entire week… major cloud of guilt hanging over my head on this one… however, this week has been so jam-packed with craziness between work and all the other dramas in my life that I just have not found the time in her available hours of 10am-5pm to make the calls… I do know that the Caregiver finally discovered what is making my Grandmother not want to eat any thing (she is constantly scrunching up her face and saying “Yuck” to every thing lately)… it is the UTI meds the doc put her on! So they changed her meds and now she is eating normally once again… I love it when the planets line back up for her…Ahhhhh….On a difficult note, however, she has been having some nightmares (out loud) that the Caregiver has witnessed upon waking her in the mornings this past week… the topics always involve family members’ from her past- way back in her childhood years… very eerie to experience some of things she says according to the Caregiver… I am not in the least bit surprised… I remember some of these same relatives from when I was a small child and they scared me too even then!
Well today is Mothers Day and we opted to stay home today to tend to our poor doggie, Sampson. He actually did really well on Friday and seemed almost his old self all day yesterday. But, this morning brought on a very, very sick dog…. We woke to an almost paralyzed-like animal that pretty much has not moved much at all today. He did disappear at one point and Hubby found him lying in the middle of the creek drinking and yakking… over and over. At some point he came out of the creek and lay up onto the ivy embankment. He just moaned and groaned with every breath just like he was having trouble breathing. We finally got him up onto the driveway and then the shivering started and he was almost lifeless-like. We finally carried him into the garage onto a makeshift bed and that is where he has been all afternoon and tonight. Hubby has been staying with him most of the day. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring him strength and a burst of healthy energy so he can enjoy another good day with us. Say a prayer…

Another Eventful Weekend!

Sounds like this past weekend was an eventful one... I was in Denver for my company's Annual Conference which started with a 6:30am flight on Friday morning... Had the clock set for 4am and still did not manage to make to 4am since our dog woke me up at 3am puking all over Hubby's bathroom floor. Yes, our dog is not doing too good these days... I am deeply saddened since he is only 10 1/2 years old and I just lost my dog only a short year or so ago.. I really do not think I can take another doggie passing so soon. Sampson has had this ongoing breathing condition for months now that just kept getting worse. At first the vet said it was allergies and the next time they said his heart is enlarged and he seems to have congestive heart failure. They kept him overnight on diuretics to remove the fluid off his heart. He seems to be moving around a lot slower now since all that started. Well, he got sick again last week to the point where he was practically unresponsive when talked to or petted. Now the vet is saying he is severely anemic. He has also stopped eating for the most part. Hubby bought him a flat of wet dog food and he seemed to eat that over the weekend but as of last night he has stopped again. Of course our neighbors (the good ones) are devasted over this too since Sampson stays with them half the time. I do not want to even think about our life without the Warrior since he has been our "child" throughout our entire marriage and courtship before that. He is such a great companion and always provides us such entertainment. He woke us up again this morning around 3:45am gagging up stuff on our bedroom floor... All we can do is pray..
In the meantime, my 9-yr old nephew Austin managed to wreck his motorcycle this past Sunday on the farm... they didn't found out until yesterday that he broke his upper arm and now he is scheduled to go see the same orthopedic doc my Grandmother goes to! Since the break is so high there really is no way to put a cast on his arm... very odd. Oh well, no motorcycle riding, no fishing, no hunting, no nothing for the little daredevil- and that is what hurts him the most!
My Grandmother did not have a good weekend either- her ongoing unhappiness with everything, her constant negativity and her neverending refusal to do anything the Caregiver asks of her is just wearing them thin. She hates everything food-wise they give her, she tries to chew up her pills now (which of course taste awful) and everytime they touch her to bathe her or change her bottoms she screams like they are beating her. I am really beginning to think she has reverted back to her terrible 2's again... I am planning to go see her sometime this weekend for Mothers Day... but, that will be another blog topic later...;-D

The Old Warrior Still Has It!

This is what greeted us at the back door this past Sunday morning... Sampson and his catch of the day... Yummy squirrel... The old Warrior still has it! Even though he is almost 10 years old, he is still the mighty hunter of Barbara Lane. Go Sampson Go.