Last week was such a tiresome yet eventful seven days for me… I was supposed to have been in El Paso from Monday morning to Wednesday evening. Well that did not happen thanks to the unexpected snowstorm that blew in on that Sunday, the day before. Cancelling the trip meant my missing our one safety lunch for the field crew- grilled T-bone steaks! We handed out t-shirts (designed by yours truly) and hooded company logo sweatshirts and gave away prizes. I really hated to miss the fun. But, on the positive side, I did get caught up with a bunch of paperwork that I did not finish before my “almost” trip. On top of the fact that I am so stressed right now trying to get ready for my big karate test in less than 2 weeks. I am going to the karate studio every day for any spare hour that I can… plus work, boot camp, etc.
And top of all that, my newest saga started on Wednesday afternoon…. Yes, around 1pm on Wednesday I started receiving all these phone calls and voice mails from one of the Nurses at the Hospice who we hired to do my Grandmother’s hospice-at-home care. This is a service that folks can qualify for when they get to a certain point in their aging life… they are an on-call nursing service 24/7 and they provide bathing services, etc. 3-5 times a week. Well I just signed the papers to hire them about a month ago. And it seems like I have gotten phone calls from them about once a week since then regarding some of the most idiotic issues. The biggest issue (keep in mind this is THEIR issue) that they have called on me about is the posey vest (a restraint vest) that my Grandmother sleeps in at night. First of all, her Doctor suggested it and prescribed it in order to keep her from falling/rolling/getting out of the bed at night and hurting herself. At a certain point in one’s journey with Dementia, the victim tends to wake up at night and not know where or who they are and will climb out of bed to “get away”… coupled with her severe Glaucoma and that can be a recipe for disaster! Well the hospice does not support the use of restraints (of any type) AT ALL. And they have tortured me since their discovering the vest… they have called numerous times raising all kinds of hell about it and demanding that I sign papers relieving them of any responsibility if she chokes herself to death on it… yadda yadda yadda... Well the phone call this past Wednesday topped all the others…. This nurse must have called me over 6 times while I was on the phone with the Caregiver asking what was going on and was my Grandmother okay. As it turns out the Nurse was AT the house with my Grandmother and calling me from her car in the driveway! I finally answer the phone only to find out that the Nurse was calling to tell me that the Caregivers are beating my Grandmother… HUH? Not to delve every detail, but they did not see any bruises after I questioned about it. They did not see it actually happen. But, upon routine questioning my Grandmother told them that they hit her. Really? My Grandmother who is well into the stages of Dementia told you that she is being hit? Do you understand how Dementia works? And that she will tell you just about anything for attention? I was so pissed! And I think the Nurse was pissed that I did not get upset about the idea that my Grandmother “might” be getting beaten. I told her that I was coming down there that weekend and would assess the situation then. Obviously that was not a good enough answer because she asked what I was going to do with my Grandmother until Sunday… Uh, nothing? Leave her where she is? Can you believe they wanted to take her WITH them! Back to the hospice house! I told them NO. As her Legal Guardian and Power of Attorney- NO! So they informed me that they would be filing a report with Adult Protective services (that would be like DFACS for Seniors by the way)… of course, I asked “WHY?” And they said they had to since she told them about her getting beaten. After 5 minutes or so of going back and forth about how I do not agree with that decision and what a crock of crap this whole ordeal is, I hung up. They called me back only after they confronted the Caregiver with their accusations and she then her kicking them out of her house. Needless to say, I called our Doctor and got a referral that afternoon for the other hospice in Columbus. I was set up with their program and services by the next morning. Fortunately, they did a transfer from the “bad” hospice so we would not have to deal with them any more.
And of course, the Caregiver is devastated. She just cannot understand how this transpired. Or why. I keep telling her that we know the truth and we are on her side 100%.
Oh and the APS lady showed up on Saturday morning unannounced… she checked out the house, the Caregiver and my Grandmother… she just kept asking “please tell me why I am here again?”… Imagine that!
I met the new hospice service Nurse on Sunday and completed the paperwork. I then spent the day with my Grandmother, took her to my Mom’s for lunch and asked her about her statements earlier in the week that stirred up so much drama. Her answers changed every 5 minutes… again, imagine that… damn dementia!
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