I found out on Friday that the rehabilitation center has projected my Grandmother’s release date to be this Thursday, March 26- a little surprising to say the least! And because I could not make the drive down to visit her at all last week, I had at least one visitor per day planned out up through yesterday. Since my mom and brother were coming up to visit us in Marietta this past weekend, I had to schedule my dad twice- on Saturday and Sunday just to make sure someone went to see her over the weekend. Of course her caregiver goes to see her just about everyday- but, my Grandmother does not seem to really remember her after this whole broken hip ordeal. Everyone who went and visited her over the course of last week had pretty positive feedback about his or her visit… well almost everyone- except my dad. His reports are always just the opposite. I am really beginning to think it is just him. You see even after dealing with my Grandmother’s sickness for over two years my dad is still in denial- in denial of her dementia, in denial of her disabilities, in denial of her aging, the list goes on and on. So he doesn’t understand why she does the things she does and why she does not do the things she used to could do. His behavior is so typical of family members (usually men) who just cannot or will not accept changes in their loved ones. Changes that cannot be prevented or helped… yet, they just do not get it! Come on people, the information is out there to read up on it…why not just take the time to research it so you can understand her and her condition! For example, I called him on Sunday to see how his visit went on Saturday… he tells me that she was “pitching a fit and struggling to get out of the wheelchair the entire time I was there”. He says that she stays angry and combative… I called him on Sunday night to see how his visit was earlier that day- same story just a different day. So later that night I decided to make the trip myself on Monday afternoon.
I came into work early so I could leave a little early yesterday afternoon… luck was on my side because I managed to avoid any/all traffic the entire way down there… got there by 5:30. My mom called on the way and said she wanted to meet me there to visit her too. So we entered the building together and found her in the wheelchair sitting out in the common area in front of the nurse’s station. She was yelling out at some nurse walking by her at that moment, “hey! Hello! Hey! Hello!” while pulling on the Velcro wheelchair strap that keeps her from coming out of the chair… we stopped for a minute and just watched her… it kind of reminded me of one of those homeless people you see sitting on the side of the street hollering for a hand out all the while everyone walking by are just ignoring them. I slowly walked up and silently stood right in front of her path of vision…. She looks up at my face and slowly grins like she recognizes me… but, then the smile fades, her demeanor changes and she says, “where have you been?!”… Now that is exactly what I had expected from my always-agitated Grandmother…and nothing less. And then she says, “and where is your mom?” and mom pops up next to me and says, “right here!”…And now she is really surprised… she just looks back and forth at both of us… and then she busts out crying…I slowly interpret her sobs in that she is “so glad that we are all together again”… and then a minute later she has stopped crying and is babbling about something and we are both baffled at what she is saying… it seems that her ability to talk and understand her words is waning and she speaks in such a low tone that you can hardly hear her words. Well, we spent the next hour on this rollercoaster of happy, crying, surprise, happy, crying, over and over and over. And then around 6:15 her energy level just deflated and she was asleep in the chair by 6:30. We watched the nurse tech put her bed and then told her bye…. As I made the long drive back to the city, I watched the beautiful sunset on my left through the trees and thought for a long time about how different life is going to be for my Grandmother and her caregiver when she returns to Pine Mountain later this week. A broken hip and an increased level of dementia is going to make life very much more complicated… we shall see what happens…
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