What’s Wrong with “The Wrong Place at the Wrong Time”?

I wanted to share this article with you all... it was on the front of the church bulletin for the First United Methodist Church in Pine Mountain... the Preacher wrote this for the congregation (as he does an article each week I am sure)... most of you know my history regarding the life of Jamie Bishop, a grade school classmate from my hometown of Pine Mountain. He was a smart, wonderful young man that touched the lives of so many people during his short life on this Earth (including mine)... may God bless his vast circle of friends and family...

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Those of us in the Pine Mountain First UMC family, along with people around the country, are painfully aware of the tragedy that occurred on the Virginia Tech Campus in April. Last Tuesday, Good Morning America aired a segment that was an interview with Mike and Jeri Bishop, the parents of Jamie who was killed on the Blacksburg campus. The Bishops shared good, heartfelt thoughts. In the course of the interview, President Bush was shown addressing the tragedy saying, “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Mike and Jeri reasserted that the students and faculty who were killed or injured were actually in the right place at the right time. They were where they were supposed to be, doing what they were supposed to be doing. I want to take a moment to look at exactly what’s wrong with the phrase “the wrong place at the wrong time.” Maybe it can help us all to learn and grow and be more understanding.

I offer a disclaimer at the outset that my thoughts that follow are not aimed at discrediting or disrespecting the President of the United States. I am merely citing words, common words, that most of us have used at one time or another, which he used publicly while addressing the nation about this tragedy.

First of all, “the wrong place at the wrong time” is not comforting to someone who is grieving. There is a morbid and foreboding emptiness in the words. They simply offer no level of hope to grab on to. Hope and consolation is what we want when we grieve. When we face loss, there is no greater hope and consolation than to know that God is still God, God is still good, God still loves you, and nothing the world can do to you can ever take away what Jesus Christ has done for you on the Cross of Calvary. This is precisely the spiritual truth the Book of Job teaches. No matter how bad life treats you, God is still God, still there, still loving and guiding, still in charge. There is also, of course, great hope and consolation in believing in the eternity of the soul. The Bible boldly proclaims that the soul lives on after bodily death. That means that the vital essence of the individual person, is, in fact, not dead, but alive forever and the believer is in close proximity with Jesus in Heaven with all the saints who have gone before. Now THAT is comforting! “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time” simply is not.

Secondly, it is a poor choice of words. We all want to offer words of hope and encouragement to someone who has lost a loved one. “They were in the wrong place at the wrong time” is a euphemism and, like all euphemisms, is meant to help downplay or soften the emotional weight of an event or circumstance. But euphemisms also run the risk of being insensitive to people who are hurting.

Lastly, “they were in the wrong place at the wrong time” is wrong because in many cases it is, in fact, not a true statement at all. In this case, as Mike and Jeri told America, the students and faculty were in precisely the right place at precisely the right time doing precisely what they were supposed to be doing. The Bishops took the time and care to encourage young people in this country to continue to go to their classes in school. Don’t let this tragedy deter you in the pursuit of your life’s direction. Euphemisms might be colloquial, convenient, even comfortable to say, but they often ignore or deny the truth of the underlying subject.

I don’t know about you, but for these reasons, (you can likely think of others), I will think again before using this euphemism. I struggle right now to think of a case where “wrong place at the wrong time” would actually be the right thing to say. Thank you Mike and Jeri for your Christ-centered spirit, your strength through this ordeal, and the wisdom you share with us all. Your church family loves you and is always here for you.

Your Pastor and Friend, Mark